Miscellaneous Short Drabblethings
by zazzypaws
Summary: ...these serve no real purpose other than allowing me to vent frustration through writing or keeping myself amused. Some swearing and angsting may be present in some chapters.
1. Head

My head's not big. Everyone says it is.

It's not.

It's not, really. It's not.

Big head my ass.

I'm tired of this.

.

.

.

Tomorrow I'm making a head-shrinking syrum.

Yeah. That'll show 'em.


	2. Fat

_A/N: This isn't meant to be zadr-ish but it sounds kinda like it. Eh, whatever. I don't support zadr, but I do support zadf! I also don't know what Zim is thinking here. Maybe somebody called him phat(as if someone would actually say that to Zim) and he took it literally. *shrug*_

---

Well, this is interesting.

Standing at Zim's window, making sure to keep low so I wouldn't be seen, I spotted something. Something moving. It's...it's...

Zim? And he's...

...dancing?

To a Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies tape, no less!

What the...just...what? What is going on here? It has to be a trap. Yeah, that's it.

A trap.

I walked inside. Zim doesn't seem very threatening when he's dancing.

He does look pretty dumb, though.

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!?" I yelled.

He looked at me.

"ENH? ENH?"

He looked at me some more.

"What ever might YOU be doing here on this filthy earth day, putrid human of FIIIIILTH?!?"

"I asked you first!"

"Oh. You did?"

"Well?"

He looked at the floor as if he was ashamed, and replied without looking at me.

"Has Zim gotten..." and then he mumbled something that I couldn't make out.

I asked him to repeat himself.

"YOU HEARD VERY WELL WHAT ZIM JUST SAID!!"

"No, I didn't."

"Oh."

Still not looking at me.

Still staring at the floor. Or maybe his feet. It didn't matter, he wouldn't look at me. He was ashamed.

"What is it?"

Zim mumbled something again, this time a little quieter.

"What?"

Mumbling again.

"WHAT IS IT, ZIM?!?" I yelled.

He raised his face, now in a sneer, to look into my eyes, and he hissed at me. Eesh. Maybe Zim was a little scary now that he wasn't dancing or moping.

"IS ZIM FAT?!" he screetched.

Is that what this was all about?

No, Zim wasn't fat. Maybe he'd put on a couple of pounds since getting to earth, sure. But he looked pretty anorexic before, anyways.

But I didn't say that.

"Yes."

Zim just stared at me like he didn't understand what I meant.

"Yes, Zim, you are getting fat." I repeated, clarifying myself in case Zim was too stupid to grasp an answer as simple as "yes".

"YOU'RE LYING!!!"

I was pushed backwards onto the floor by Zim's pak legs before I knew what was happening. Then something else hit me...I wasn't sure what at the time, but clearly I had picked the wrong day to make fun of Zim.

.

.

.

I woke up in the hospital three days later.

Zim was there.

"Am I really fat?" was the first thing I heard.

"No," I said. "I lied."

"Then you deserved to have the TV fall on you."

"I...what?"

And he smacked my face, only it wasn't too hard. He was annoyed, but knew I was hurt.

This was weird for him.

"I'm sorry I called you fat," I said. I don't know why I said it, maybe I was delusional or just really out of it. It had to be the head trauma(that's what the nurse told me I had later). But I said it.

"Enh." was his reply.

"Why did you think you were fat?"

"FOOL! Zim is not fat! It was a trick! Yes! A trick to lure you into my base with my incredible dancing, then kill you so I could take over the world without your infernal pestering! I AM ZIIIIIIM!"

"Is the world taken over?"

"Eh...no."

"Uh-huh. Really, what was it?"

"Zim is sorry he threw a TV on you, Dib-stink."

"That's alri-- wait, what did you say?"

"That I threw a TV on you?"

"No, the other thing."

Zim stared at me silently for a moment.

"The other thing." I repeated.

"What other thing?" He seemed genuinely unaware of what I meant.

"You...you apologized."

"ZIM DID NO SUCH THIIIING!!!" he screamed, waving his fists in the air.

"Fine, don't admit it."

"Admit what?" And then as if it would change the subject, he added, "You're filthy."


End file.
